One of our friends had a
'hate hate' relationship with his family's cat so one day after
getting scratched he decided it should 'go missing' and drove it
into the nearby woods. After stopping off at the pub on the way
back for a drink to celebrate his new found freedom he was
astonished to get home and find the cat laid out on the sofa
staring at him menacingly. The next day he dropped
the cat off in a nearby town but again, later than evening the cat
simply let itself in through the cat flap and seemed to snigger at
the guy. Determined not to be outdone he then drove into the closest
city and left the cat in an alleyway. By then it was getting dark
and the guy got hopelessly lost on the ringroad whilst driving back.
Tired and fed up he phoned home and asked if the cat was there. When
she replied that it was he replied "put it on the phone, I'm lost
and need directions!"